Tagged!
So, this is in a fairly random post and I guess infers that I don’t have anything too insightful or thought provoking to blog about. Should you need some insightful or thought provoking reading, please scroll to earlier posts.
This post is in response to the almighty Golden Beagle and her “tagging” which, if you haven’t read her blog, asks that I share 7 random or weird things about myself. Lucky for you guys, I am self absorbed and am only too happy to continue divulging arbitrary detail about me. These are, of course, the life and times of Pedro Zoydberg.
Here goes:
1) I am reading my first book since 1994 (yes, I didn’t even completely get through my set works in matric)…that book back in ’94 was Animal Farm and I was 11. I guess I will have to get rid of my adage “I don’t read, ever”
2) My first kiss was just before my 17th birthday and my first sexual encounter was shortly after my 21st birthday! My memories of my first kiss is one of me talking and her pulling into me, mid convo! (tongue and saliva were not held back!) and my memories of my first sexual experience was “Good God, is it supposed to be this awkward… please stay up, please stay up, please stay up!”
3) Sort of a follow on from the previous point…I have never climaxed during sex…ever! Since that first faithful day, a few women have found me mildly interesting enough (I wish my friends were there!) to shag me…that said…I have never even remotely been close to climaxing…*sigh*
4) I cry during movies and certain sporting events. That is right, I am a stallion in the prime of my youth (certainly not a “Man’s man” though), but Braveheart, Gladiator, The Notebook, Shaun Pollock retiring, United winning the Champions League in ’99, amongst many, many others have drawn tears…that’s right…I’m a weeper.
5) When I prepare to go out to bat (for cricket), I prepare the left side of me first…don’t know why, but its just this random habit that has popped up…left sock, right sock, left shoe, right shoe, left glove, right glove…I think you get the point
6) I view my life as a movie…and every movie I see or song I hear, contributes to thoughts of whether I would have that bit in my final script/soundtrack (hindsight view of my life, post death) or not…from what songs would fit where (The Shins, Collective Soul, Seether, Coldplay, Lifehouse, etc) to which scenes resemble my life (The Notebook, Love Actually, Legends of the Fall, Fight Club, Garden State,etc)…it is true, movies almost seem more real life than real life does.
7) My very best days (yes, there are a few), are…the day I played at Kingsmead Cricket Ground (the home of cricket in Natal), watched Collective Soul (a bit of a life goal, as the first time they were here, I was broke, studying for exams and a million miles away from seeing them due to other contextual life reasons), paying off my last installment of a R50 000 student loan on a really, really (you have no idea!) shitty salary in 16 months and finally, watching my brother graduate to become a doctor! My very worst day…the day I realized (and yes, I get the inconsistency) that amidst my martyrish one liners and actions, I will never know if I will ever truly be validated…
There you have it…a quick peak behind the curtain.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Monday, February 4, 2008
Sad Story
Right, to my masses that have been waiting with baited breath for my next post, the time of reckoning (and reading) is here. We first re-visit the plethora of dark, heavy and very emo thoughts that punctuated my last few months…they were all dark, heavy and very emo indeed. I have however overcome a great deal of them. I am pretty sure that a decent amount of the heaviness was exorcised with my decision NOT to go to the UK and rather choosing to seek employment elsewhere in this city. It is to be seen where this process will take me, as it is in its infantile state. But yes, it would appear that I had placed many tonnage on what and where my life would continue…I am happy to say, right here.
Not soon after becoming comfortable with my above decision, Eskom decided to level up and completely and utterly fuck up many things…traffic and fresh coffee being the most important. I am however refusing to be a part of the masses of doom profits that have the opinion that our power dilemma coupled with the impending Zuma reign are the beginnings of an end. I think we will be OK. I think its going to be tough, but as a country, we will come through it…many candles later.
Regarding my funk, well, the birthday was also a huge contributor to the dark cloud of depression that is usually reserved for talented musos, poets and artists. It was then, that with massive surprise that many people that I know made an enormous effort to validate me on this day…most notably, an unnamed, unknown friend/admirer/stalker proceeded to punctuate the day with a “gift hunt” across my employers many campuses. It was interesting, fun and very fulfilling…as of yet, I still have no clue who this wonderful person is and why they went to such great lengths to make me feel not so arbitrary, and I thoroughly appreciate your efforts and only wish I could thank you…however, if you for some really, really sad reason read this blog…THANK YOU!
I had, what turned out to be quite a lovely birthday. To further the amazing race of gift hunting, a surprise birthday dinner was thrown with some of my closest friends and my beloved doc. A great evening was had and further validation felt.
Now, on to the business end of things, as it has appeared to me, that I have over come my temporary funk and moodiness and am back to my self absorbed, self proclaimed inspirational, thought provoking, insight invoking self…
It seems that I know too many people that are oh so comfortable with their own state of vanilla. I’m not saying that its not allowed (as prior posts will tell you, I feel that everyone has full right to this), but to hold on to it, and make it all you have with regards to feelings and experiences is terribly short sighted and severely life limiting. These people that I speak of are interesting, smart, charming, witty and attractive individuals, yet in my opinion, they lack any real desire to enjoy new experiences. They do have hope for these new experiences, but in my opinion are held back by their past, be them bad or good historical knowledge…they either linger on how glorious the past was or how deep the scar was or a good measure of both!
I can’t understand it…for the life of me, I can’t. I am by no means the most interesting person I know, but these people are way more well versed with world knowledge, have their opinions and arguments in check and are just all round fantastic, but, they are chicken shit…building walls upon walls and taking a stand against life itself…it borderline infuriates me with how shamelessly they seek to take the safe haven of constants and not bother too much with the variables of this world and its people. How? How on earth can this be enough…how can such enchanting personalities be happy with such mundane thoughts about certain things so important…?
To put yourself out there, is a very daunting thing, but to live a life protecting yourself from even the joys it offers, is truly criminal. For their sakes and for the people that they will touch, I hope the walls come crumbling down and human reaction/emotion runs free…for the world is a poorer place with such people running in neutral…
“You would say we were just a big mistake, I think its worth making…worth repeating”
And just cos it’s good to feel alive again…
“It’s not the years in your life that matter, but the life in your years”
Not soon after becoming comfortable with my above decision, Eskom decided to level up and completely and utterly fuck up many things…traffic and fresh coffee being the most important. I am however refusing to be a part of the masses of doom profits that have the opinion that our power dilemma coupled with the impending Zuma reign are the beginnings of an end. I think we will be OK. I think its going to be tough, but as a country, we will come through it…many candles later.
Regarding my funk, well, the birthday was also a huge contributor to the dark cloud of depression that is usually reserved for talented musos, poets and artists. It was then, that with massive surprise that many people that I know made an enormous effort to validate me on this day…most notably, an unnamed, unknown friend/admirer/stalker proceeded to punctuate the day with a “gift hunt” across my employers many campuses. It was interesting, fun and very fulfilling…as of yet, I still have no clue who this wonderful person is and why they went to such great lengths to make me feel not so arbitrary, and I thoroughly appreciate your efforts and only wish I could thank you…however, if you for some really, really sad reason read this blog…THANK YOU!
I had, what turned out to be quite a lovely birthday. To further the amazing race of gift hunting, a surprise birthday dinner was thrown with some of my closest friends and my beloved doc. A great evening was had and further validation felt.
Now, on to the business end of things, as it has appeared to me, that I have over come my temporary funk and moodiness and am back to my self absorbed, self proclaimed inspirational, thought provoking, insight invoking self…
It seems that I know too many people that are oh so comfortable with their own state of vanilla. I’m not saying that its not allowed (as prior posts will tell you, I feel that everyone has full right to this), but to hold on to it, and make it all you have with regards to feelings and experiences is terribly short sighted and severely life limiting. These people that I speak of are interesting, smart, charming, witty and attractive individuals, yet in my opinion, they lack any real desire to enjoy new experiences. They do have hope for these new experiences, but in my opinion are held back by their past, be them bad or good historical knowledge…they either linger on how glorious the past was or how deep the scar was or a good measure of both!
I can’t understand it…for the life of me, I can’t. I am by no means the most interesting person I know, but these people are way more well versed with world knowledge, have their opinions and arguments in check and are just all round fantastic, but, they are chicken shit…building walls upon walls and taking a stand against life itself…it borderline infuriates me with how shamelessly they seek to take the safe haven of constants and not bother too much with the variables of this world and its people. How? How on earth can this be enough…how can such enchanting personalities be happy with such mundane thoughts about certain things so important…?
To put yourself out there, is a very daunting thing, but to live a life protecting yourself from even the joys it offers, is truly criminal. For their sakes and for the people that they will touch, I hope the walls come crumbling down and human reaction/emotion runs free…for the world is a poorer place with such people running in neutral…
“You would say we were just a big mistake, I think its worth making…worth repeating”
And just cos it’s good to feel alive again…
“It’s not the years in your life that matter, but the life in your years”
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