Disenchanted

As inspired by David Benioff in 25th hour…

Fuck societal institutions. The need to find a safe and secure place in your life. Go to school, the false perception of a higher education, find a job, find a girl, get married, settle down, buy a house, have dinner parties, have a child, buy another house, have another child, have a braai, buy a better car…when does it fucking end? A never ending search to find a fucking pillar that you can rely on, but what the fuck does that mean? A reliable job, a reliable partner? Raise a child to continue your name in ignorance? Fuck that, and fuck all those people that accept this as a standard that they should strive for in their lives.

Fuck social standards and perceptions. Fuck the pampered boys and dolled up girls. Fucking manicured toes and designer gear. All adding to the fucking façade that you are. You aren’t fooling anyone you dumb fuck! Grow your hair into a mow hock, shave it off, grow it back longer, color it in, cut it again, give me a fucking break you fake piece of shit! The girls with the breasts perky, asses out, selling themselves for whatever fucking retard that best compliments them as yet another fucking accessory. Honey, you look like a real life blow up doll, worth a look you may be, but what you inspire in me, is fucking violence. The boys strolling around like fucking peacocks trying to attract the maximum number of looks based on the coolness they exude. Shut the fuck up with the grandioso hook ups and parties you false, fake, walking, talking insecurity.

Fuck the institute of marriage and what its done for an old school romantic retard like myself. People settle down with the no importance on the word fucking “settle”. A perception of what they want, what they believe they can only get or fuck knows what else. The removal of some of the financial burden with the “dual income” concept. Are you fucking serious? Men, have their head turned by every other tart, forking out tons of money on strippers and prostitutes, how the fuck did you let it get to this, and willingly! Women looking around and realize that their men aren’t anywhere near happy and that their set up is more of one of companionship fueled by the fear of being alone (which is true for men too) and more of a fucked up platonic friendship. One where trust quasi exists because neither party has enough energy to articulate how fucked up it really is to come home to another “how was your day, dear” conversation. This is your fucking life and you are watching it pass by. People go through the fucking hoopla and drama of going through the fucking ritual, invitation list and catering only to go back on their word and call it a day, for reasons that vary from infidelity to just “not working anymore”, are you fucking kidding me? If you weren’t blinded by the concept, you may have realized how retarded he is or how superficial she was. Play the fucking victim and blame the situation at home as validation enough to fuck someone else. Own your fucking situation; put your hand up and fucking leave with some sense of self worth still in tact!

Fuck beauty/health magazines and the pressure they put on me to lose 10 kg. The fucking impression that when someone describes someone as “average weight and build” they don’t fucking mean me, who the fuck are they? Preaching grooming techniques, work out techniques and cunnilingus techniques, give me a fucking break! Hairless washboard abs, completely disciplined lifestyles, fitted suits, am I supposed to buy into the hope that this is what a real man is right now? In the absence of the “hunter gatherer” concept this is what will constitute me finding a decent mate and a comfort within myself, fuck you! Women’s magazines preaching techniques on how to dress this summer and how to blow your man next winter. What the fuck does it matter when on the one page that they preach how to please your man, and on the next, they articulate the need to not feel objectified. News flash you fucking retarded journos, that’s why men watch porn. Do me a fucking favour and think about how the term fuck is used in context of sex, not her fucking him, but him fucking her, as a fucking object!

Fuck family and their neediness and attachment to the perception of fucking “duty”. Just because you are born into a household you are expected to fulfill someone else’s fucking belief system with regards to religion, sexual preference and general relationship management. Fuck that, I didn’t ask to brought here, yet I’m supposed to be fucking thankful to you. Well, allow me to thank you…for the first time I was dumped and felt heartache, for the first time you didn’t have money for something I wanted, for the first time I didn’t have money for something I wanted, for not protecting me against life’s harsh realities and having to deal with it before I should have, for me having to go through the concept of not being good enough, for me hating myself and for fuck loads more of other unnecessary disappointments that I have had to put up with. It is expected that I am supposed to be a certain brand of family member, caring, giving, considerate, why the fuck? Just because of blood ties I am expected to keep in touch, reciprocate affection and thoughtfulness. Fuck that! The concept of having a child has been severely warped. People need to look within themselves. Younger people looking to older people to help them, older people looking to younger people to need them, fuck off, is that why I am here, to validate your existence?

Fuck the different degrees of friendships and the need to not so subtly be yourself in it. To preach loyalty and not act accordingly. Murmurs of gripes and difference of opinion. Give me a fucking break. If you want to be there, be there. Don’t fucking fake it, I would rather be alone, jerking off than have to believe that the perception of my quality as a friend is me making myself available to fix your fucking problems. They are your fucking problems. Busy fucking passing comments and thought about how you are better in a plethora of ways that I cant comprehend. Grow the fuck up and deal with your own fucking shit. Realize the short comings you have before you believe you have a stance to look down on me…look down on me, fuck you! Seriously, take ownership of your life, but is it that hard to not be a dick, if it is, then I guess that’s enough detail for me. I am fucking tired of giving the affectionate ear to repetitive stories and dramas, being the understanding, sensitive idiot whilst you don’t give yourself the time it would take to properly process the shit you have going on. Wake the fuck up and smell the java. You aren’t as cool as you think, you aren’t as funny as you think, you aren’t as witty as you think, you aren’t as good looking as you think and sure as fuck, you aren’t as smart as you think…own your own shit. Fucking whining malcontents that refuse to be more than they are. Holes in their perception of friendship and their fucking lives. Don’t judge me when you can’t even identify your fucking deficiencies!

Fuck exes. Seeking random bits of validation and affection. What the fuck for? There was a reason you broke up with me, or I with you. Why do we go through the fucking circus of needing to give the perception that there is genuine care there. If you dumped my sorry ass, why the fuck are you still seeking to keep in touch? The fact that you broke up with me, doesn’t make me any less funny or witty or cool or fun to be with, sorry sweet heart, but this shouldn’t be news to you. Now you want all of the friendship and sincerity but none of the admin, fuck you! And for those that I broke up with, I guess I am the weaker one in that I want to make sure you are ok…I don’t seek validation or affection or random bits of flirty shit from you. More often than not, anything I have done, has been for some sort of warped sense of me bettering myself as a person. If I didn’t want to keep dating you, it must be for fundamental fucking reasons, along the lines of you being full of shit, or a variation there of…leave me the fuck alone. To both sets of exes, what we had, is long since dead, go fuck up someone else’s life. A few key thoughts, say what you mean, do what you say, stop using teeth during head, at some point, an erection needs to be used, I really don’t care about all of the fucking details in your day and the fact that your friends are giving you shit isn’t my fault, don’t fucking project! You having past admin that you didn’t deal with is also not my fucking problem and when you dump a guy, be honest, cos fuck knows, that would help him not want to smack you with a wrench when he sees you on the street. Stop hedging your bets, don’t bother with the perception that anyone is going to judge you for the things you do behind closed doors and at what times in your relationship, it’s just you and your partner. Start with dealing with your fucking baggage. I gave you all of me and you weren’t a first team player. I can only be sorry for that.

Fuck the sanctity of self improvement and the need for me to better myself. To gain control of a life I am not sure why I’m living. To know when to stop, to know when to go on, to want to be more. More of fucking what? Be spiritually centered? Be comfortable with the facets of life that are all in limbo at any one point? Better my vocabulary, my literary reference material so that I can participate in conversations of fuck all importance? Why the fuck do I need to better myself? You fucking better yourself and find your emotional centre…maybe then you would wonder what the fuck its all for when you need to better yourself further still, cos fuck knows, it never ends.

Fuck the perception of ambition. The need to grow my CV. Gain work experience, diversify my finance portfolios, expand my education through distance learning and off site courses. For what reason? To increase my salary band? The only immediate gain being that I get to buy more dvds which in turn leads to me not going out and interacting with fucking people. The need to travel the world? And find more of the same shit but with different accents? Pretty new buildings (to me anyway) with history laced bricks that have fuck all to do with who I am or who I will be? Fuck the perception of ambition and the fact that those that believe they have it are better than those that just don’t give a fuck!

Fuck racial prejudice. Well, for that matter, fuck religious prejudice, fuck class prejudice and fuck homosexual prejudice. Judging someone because they chose differently from you? Fuck you, you short sighted, retarded fuck. Its fuck wits like you that stagnate the human race. Gather some fucking like minded friends, go to a random barn and commit mass suicide. You will not be mourned, you will not be missed. You dumb fucks.

Fuck stereotypical fuckheads that force me to spend hours picking my name off the floor. Based on my skin tone and place of birth I have to spend fucking eons answering questions on how come I’m not like the stereotype or being judged on it without a defense. Fuck the need to fit in and its knock on effect on the concept of every stereotype. Jews are miserly with their money, Muslims are terrorists, blacks are violent and steal, Indians in this fucking country are like those from fucking india and whites are afraid of everything not like them. Fucking idiots that buy into this bullshit should not procreate. But what’s worse, is those of the stereotype, perpetuating it further…Jesus fuck, be your own person. Stop being a fucking sheep for a weekend and maybe, just fucking maybe you may actually figure out what the fuck you want and truly enjoy, as an individual.

Fuck you Zoydberg…fuck the need to feel like a fucking victim. Like you are the only fucking one going through the mass overflow of thoughts and emotions. Fuck the need to be a whining bitch about the things you have the power to change. Fucking retarded complaints about all that is not well and as per your fucking wants, but do you do anything about it, no, just sit on your ass, and vent about how fucked up the world is, as opposed to how you hide behind your apathy…Poke holes in every facet of life and all the things you don’t like for whatever reason, but in the end, nothing changes. You are still in the same fucking hole as before and need to pull your finger out. Fuck you and your self perception of well articulated insight that shields you from yourself…Fuck you Zoydberg…

“We are the middle children of history. No purpose or place. We have no great war, or great depression. Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives.”

“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”